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You know that old saying, the one that goes something like, be careful for what you wish, you might just receive it or some such thing.  I have never been a big fan of that particular saying.  As life seems to enjoy a good laugh or two, at my expense (or so it seems), this week I have heard myself iterating this phrase and then I suppose reiterating the same saying.  Because I did make a wish and I am, indeed, receiving said wish.

In fact, I did more than send a wish into the Universe.  I crafted an invitation.  An invitation to a celebration, a party if you will in honor of myself.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  I, as in me, myself and I.  A celebration of MY LIFE to coincide with one of my favorita days of the year Summer Solstice (the other favorita days of the year, Winter Solstice).  I crafted this invitation and then sent it out into the Universe to invitees both local and to those who live in what we fondly refer to as the Lower 48, even though there are 49 other states in the Union.  Some folks may be wondering what are we even considering here?  What’s the big deal?  Where’s the problem?  What is this post even about?  Well, read further dear blogging friends and I will further bare my fragile vulnerable underbelly of neurosis.

In sending this invitation, I was telling myself Number One, that I am valuable enough and could possibly be important enough to someone(s)’ that they would/will take time out of their lives to journey North to celebrate my life.  For those invitees from Outside there would/will be the travel expense, which is no small ‘taters.  The moment I hit the send button on my email invitation the anxiety that had already built to about a 4 on a 1-10 scale, hit about an 8.  That old and tired but loud whiny voice of who do you think you are little Missy and you are a selfish self-centered little girl aren’t you today blah blah blah took over.  Thankfully, before this part of me could overtake me and tackle me into the mud, I began receiving responses to my invitation within a half hour of its flight.

Thus, this week has been a life lesson of opening my heart again and again to the love that is there for me to receive.  Although overwhelming, I remind myself that I am a growed up woman, as my adoptive mother used to say about herself.  And a little or even a lot of overwhelm over receiving a lot of love from family and friends is some thing a growed up woman can handle on any given day.

My heart is full.

My heart is full and expanding.

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To the edge of the ocean, that is.  Yes.  I am fleeing to the ocean’s edge seeking solace, seashells, wind and waves.  Rainy forecast be damned, I am still heading out so I can arrive there, where the ocean meets the rocky shore. 

Fingers crossed that my V (as in my Bastard Buddy Vertigo) will allow me a grace period for the 4+ hour drive.  I typically relish driving the many miles as it is a beautiful drive, rain or shine, and this road and I are very well acquainted.  We know each other’s twists and turns, pot holes and all.  So please Universe above and within, please keep the green light lit and a Pink Bubble of safety around yours truly and Buster Blue (aka my trusty car companion) as we escape this city life. 

Because it is true.  The edge is where the good stuff often hangs out.  An ever tempting adventure of discovery.  So to the edge it is.

Stone after stone after stone followed by another and another.  Skipping.  Bouncing.  Springing off the surface of the deep blue ocean or the merrily babbling stream.  Stone after skipped stone bouncing after the next stone leaving only rings of water and a dollop of watery sound in their wake. 

Those are the daydreams of this snow-locked woman on this sun filled day in the Upper Regions of the Northern Hemisphere.  Daydreams of beaches covered with loads of smooth small to medium sized oval shaped grey and slate black stones left high and dry by the outgoing tide.  Each aching to be chosen by the best stone skipper on the planet.  Each yearning to be held, just so, between the index finger and the thumb, curled in the brief safety of the expert hand.  Each thrilling at the very memory of flying through the sun kissed air, hurtling toward the open ocean from whence they came ashore.  Each ready to do the dance.  Each vying to be the most skipped stone this side of the Pacifc. 

Daydreaming in the sun, my friend, is never over rated.

Daydreaming, in the dark. Not to be confused with dark daydreams.

No. That would be the wrong interpretation.

This morning I was literally daydreaming in the dark. The dark both inside my dwelling and outside of my four walls as I was waking.

Here is the content of my daydreams today ~

summer time warmth ~ beachwalks ~ sleeping in the horizontal position ~

It could happen.
And it already did ~ in my mind’s eye.

I am content with the content of my life in this moment in time and space on this Earth planet in this Universe and this galaxy.

This contentment has been a long time coming and the experience may be fleeting but in this moment at this juncture in time, nothing detracts from

my contentment ~

I bargain with myself as I walk beside the edge of this astoundingly gorgeous ocean.
The back and forth sounds a lot like this ~

Shell Seeker Self: You have chosen some cool, as in uber cool shells. You have enough.

Beach Walker Self: Okay. You’re right, oh Wise One. No need to be a greedy shell gut.

Shell Seeker Self: Yep. Enough beachcombing for this morning. Now onto the walk part.

Beach Walker Self: Great! All on board for a beach stroll.

Shell Seeker Self: Ahhhh, this feels so good ~ just me on the beach walking and… What do I spy with my little brown eye?

Beach Walker Self: Go by, go by ~ be strong ~

Shell Seeker Self: [Slowing pace ~ stopping ~ squatting ~ picking up ~ gathering]

Beach Walker Self: It’s okay. We all have minor slips now and then. Come on, get your stroll back on.

Shell Seeker Self: Oh Alright, already. [Said in non-compliant voice]

Beach Walker Self: Think of this as your aerobic exercise for the day in a beautiful location.

Shell Seeker Self: Better yet ~ let’s think of this as MY vacation. [Slowing pace ~ stopping ~ squatting ~ picking up ~ gathering]

Beach Walker Self: Well if you can’t beat them, join them [Slowing pace ~ stopping ~ squatting ~ picking up ~ gathering]

~ And a grand time continues to be shared by all ~

As in totally. Stoked.

Who says that any more?
Other than me, that is.

I don’t care if I am the only one on the planet still using such a word and phrase. Never was one to conform.

Makes no never mind, anywho.
‘Cuz it wouldn’t change a thing ~
I am stoked ~ totally ~ utterly ~ stoked.

That is what the sun ~ sand ~ ocean waves ~ pelican sightings ~ breeze + a clear calendar =’s in this woman’s life and times ~

Stoked on life.
Gotz me feelin’ groovy.
As in cool beans, man.
Like totally.
I’m all in, my friend.
Stoked ~

Where I am vacationing this week the talk, the buzz word amongst the locals, is “unseasonably,” as in unseasonably cold. Visitors such as myself are easily distinguishable from the permanent citizenry by our difference in outdoors apparel, ranging from shorts and a flip flop sighting here and there to the down jacketed and cashmere scarved folks.

Unseasonably translates differently depending on where the visitors hail from ~ their home average temperature for the month of Decemeber.

For me, the traveler from the Land of the Frozen Faced Ones From a Far Distant North Land, this unseasonable is tantamount to summer temps. I am not sporting shorts and a flip flop is not within my reach. However, there is a big smile plastered to my face.

My feet are happy to walk on the beautiful sandy beaches.
My eyes search the ground for sea shells.
My ears listen to the soothing sounds of the waves.
The breeze is bracing and reminds me over and over again that I am glad to be alive.

Unseasonable aliveness.

Tonight I am scheduled to leave on the proverbial red-eye flight. Scheduled to take my leave of this winter wonderland, this Frozen for a Good Long While North Land. I will be heading to warmer climes with daylight that persists past 3:45 in the afternoon.

That is if those Santa Ana winds take mercy on the skies and let the airplane I will be packed onto hang in the regions above firm ground. I am hoping, quite fiercely, that the Santa Anas are a bit worn out from their recent show of power.

When I return to the Land of Snow Ice and Cold of the North Land, we will be closer to one of my most favorite of all days in the winter ~ solstice. The day that we stop losing daylight and soon begin re-gaining those precious minutes of light.

Winter solstice does not herald the end of winter. Winter weather continues here in this region of the planet well into March and April. Winter solstice does bring back the element that makes the 5th and 6th months of winter more bearable ~ light and potential sunshine.

For now, I will take my leave ~ re-charge my internal batteries ~ soak in some sun rays ~ walk along the edge of the ocean and listen to its ever changing song.

I had such a grand time on my recent tropical vacation that I am going on another vaction in just a few days. The destination isn’t tropical but it is south of here, much warmer with a higher probability of sunshine, longer daylight hours and there are beaches. Like, right there.

Be still my already pounding heart.
Well, not too still.
In fact, heart, go ahead and do your happy beat dance. I mean I am going on vacation after all.

Soon.

Yes. I’ll take seconds on that winter vacation, please.

November 2017
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