That’s how my heart and general chest area feel right now. Clenched. Like it’s being squeezed in a vice grip causing shallow breathing, furrowed brow and a paralysis of my body, mind and spirit. Fear. So palpable. And even with all the sayings about fear not being real or what we fear is really nothing but our projections of reality, which are not real ~ even with all of that ~ I sit in fear this moment. The moments have strung together for some days and weeks now with occasional respites of sleep, although of the troubled sort, and temporary bouts of trust and faith in Universal goodness and my own capabilities. Mostly, I have been locked in a clenched position for some time.
In less than a week I plan on being on the road heading south. Away from my current every day life, job, family, friends and familiar surroundings. I am choosing this move. I am not being sent away to a prison facility against my will. This is an adventure, another chapter in the life of me. A chance to begin anew. Even knowing that all of this is true, my chest remains clenched. Breath, shallow.
Oh faith, please return. Breathe deep. And again.