Yesterday I sat in my friend’s car and visited for about 3-1/2 hours, give and not take an hour or so. That’s after we had sat across from one another in a restaurant booth, eating breakfast and visiting for about an hour and eleven minutes. We had not seen one another for a goodly amount of time and when we do get together, we talk. For a long time, we talk. Our best conversations have taken place in one or the other of our vehicles throughout the years. And our friendship spans multiple years and encompass umpteen life changes and choices of both the minor and the major variety.
So it was not uncommon that our tete-a-tete included the revisiting of past romantic relationships. For me, one love affair in particular still has a hold in my heart. A flame, if you will, that has not gone dark and cold. My little meander down memory lane seems to have knocked some emotional debris loose and onto my path or into my heart like little sparkling diamonds swirling around in a gold pan mixed all in with the fool’s gold. I think in this scenario, I may be the fool and that all that sparkles is definitely not diamonds but instead perhaps a woman-made synthetic imposter.
Nonetheless. My heart is a bit blue. A bit bruised from the memories of the long ago infidelity, deceit and not enough love. The saying that time heals all wounds is not really true. What is true in this narrative is that time has softened the heart pain and there is distance even in the nearness of the flame.