I seem to be thriving of late with last minute decisions to do things. Last minute as in spontaneous choice making. A little out of character one might say except for the times when looking at a calendar of planned events makes me feel weighed down and suffocated. Even when the spoken for time is meant for fun and recreation.
I blame this schedule phobia or heightened anxiety to the many years of single parenthood, raising my daughter, alone. All the while, working 2-3 jobs and attending college part-time and sometimes with a full credit load. Woah Nelly. Overload to the max. I don’t think I ever quite recovered from the stress strain and demands of my time and efforts. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that any of that whole scenario was unworthy of my attentions, particularly the raising of my daughter part. She was, and is and will always be, worth every single bit of care and consideration that I ever have or ever will proffer.
I am just saying that I got worn out and used up in a sort of whole person, mind, body, emotions, psyche and spirit kind of way. That even though I have re-charged and many years have passed since that totally uber time, there have been other demanding times (e.g., running businesses and grad school spring to mind) that have collared a lot of my focus.
So today I am going with the flow and have decided to run out and meet the day in a retail sort of way this morning. Wish me luck! I’ll be with friends and family, which has it’s very own share of the upside and the potential downside ~ if you receive my meaning.
Ahhh, life in the times of me. I’ve said it before but it bears saying again, simple folks living simple yet extraordinary lives. Yep. That’d be me included in with that bunch, for sure. Hope your day is a good one.