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Man am I grateful that I took Buster Blue, my car, in for a second opinion. Actually I suppose it was a third opinion. The first was when the oil changing man said there was nothing missing from Buster’s under carriage. The second was from the same shop when I took him back two days later because new noises were happening. They diagnosed him as needing a new engine.

Yikes!

Third opinion happened today when Buster was diagnosed with missing and loose parts. He is home now with new hardware installed and for a humongo difference in price – like $5300 bucks worth of difference to be somewhat exact.

Second and third opinions ~ worth it! Totally.

As in what was that noise? What just happened here? Did I run over something? No. I don’t see anything bouncing along behind me in the rear view mirror. Nothing skittering sideways across the road. Did I really hear that loud thunking noise? Yes. Most definitely. Did I really feel that thump from underneath the car right around the vicinity of my gas pedal’ed foot? Uh-huh.

What was that?

After closer inspection from kneeling down beside Buster Blue (my parked car), there was no evidence of anything hanging loose. Uh-oh.

I am planning on driving Buster, minimally, later today. Good idea? or bad? Does the fact that I am taking him in tomorrow to Midas to have them take a look and do an oil change on my old buddy make a diff? Not sure. I suppose it depends on what exactly that noise was. Okay, now we’re back to uh-oh.

I am making adjustments here and there throughout my work week. These tiny adjustments are necessary in helping me act like a responsible adult and professional employee during my work hours. A tuck here and there.

A change there and here.

Never a dull moment. But sure a lot of dullness. That’s okay. There is very little that a handful of adjustments won’t cure.

I can handle this.

I was not expecting to be without a home yesterday. Most definitely not on my radar for a happening in my day. But living out of a suitcase I am today as of yesterday.

No need to panic on my behalf. I do have a housesitting situation for now so the roof over my head and a bed to sit on (yes, I continue to sleep upright ~ thanks to my visitor V, as in vertigo) are taken care of for the time being. And still, with all of that withstanding, I do not have a home. A home of my own.

I have not had a true home of my rented own for some time now. A good long time. A too long of a time.

So today, I am letting the proverbial pieces fall and settle and sift and flow on their own while I sit still for just a minute or two to get a gander at my new horizons.

Lonely. Yes. Heartbroken. Yes. Necessary. Check.

Savoring every moment of our long daylight days here in the Too Often Dark & Frozen North Land. The extra day light minutes and hours, make living so much easier that the song, summer time and the living is easy, goes around in my head, frequently.

I consciously remind myself to soak the light into my core. To stock pile a big old batch of day light, because there’s no substitute that is equal to the light here just shy of the summer solstice in the Land of the Midnight Sun. Superb.

Wonderous.

Every second of the day’s light ~ welcomed.

This week sort of built up like a wave and rolled right over me. In fact, I’m still sort of, kind of rollin’ along. A few scrapes along the ocean bed before being sucked up and over again in the relentless waves of life.

Don’t worry though, I’m still breathing while I bump along. Laughing even. Hysterical laughter at times. But laughter nonetheless. You know how it is, right? There’s a huge adrenaline rush when one breaks above the crashing waves and takes a big gulp of life sustaining oxygen right before being pulled under again, again and again.

Life is like that. Sometimes.

And then there are the safe eddies here and there along the charted and uncharted course. Doldrums too. Don’t hang out too long in those, they can drive you mad with their calm that can stretch into day after day of sameness.

I’ve gotta go for now. Remember I told you, I’m rollin’ along ~ for now.

Just a little burned out around the edges. A little raggedy.

Wow. And, it’s only Monday.

I can hear the Annie song gaining full crescendo in my head ~ The sun will come out tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow. You’re only a day away.

But for now, today, I feel a bit crisped about the end pieces ~

It’s my weekend so, naturally, I spent a few hours yesterday GS’ing (aka garage sale’ing). And, naturally, I came home with some new-to-me loot.

Gently worn moss green print Chico shirt (missing two buttons, easy fix)
+
Moderately clean, with cord smartly contained in paper towel tube, hand mixer
___________________________
Total = Two Bucks
=
Good Deal!

Two ceramic bunny votive candle holders, sold as a set, but not really a set
___________________________
Total = Four Bucks
=
Good Deal = Not So Much

But did I mention that the bunny set/not really set was purchased to be given as a gift. A gift to be given as the bunny non-set that, upon closer inspection, they revealed themselves to be. And, afterall, isn’t that part and parcel of a fun GS’ing day? Some Good Deals and some Not So Much Good Deals. Well, that’s my story and I’m a-sticking to it.

You know that song? Well that’s me this morning. Maybe with a smidge less groovy than the songwriter but enough to have me hangin’, dibblin’ and a dabblin’ about my apartment abode.

Whew. What it takes to calm that inner task master voice. The one that says be a human doing instead of my current morning desire to be a human being. Worth it though to turn up the volume on Garfunkle’s (or was it Simon) little ditty and just beebop a doowop for a minute or three this Saturday morn.

Hand me one, please.
A washboard, that is.

No music to be made
Per se
But a return to the rhythm of my life.

Every day object
mundane tasks

Simple as that
to come home

Sometimes.

@junemoon 2011

June 2011
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