Can I be blunt? Well, I know I can be curt sometimes. I meant, can I be plain-spoken here, with you? Cuz, here’s the unceremonious question of my day ~ Did 9/10’ths of my pants shrink a size or two or did my buttock area increase in girth and width?

In other words, what the hell has happened to my ass? For cripe’s sake! All I did was eat like a freakin’ horse, or is that a pig, for the last 9 months. That, and sit on my apparently-growing-spreading buttocks all live-long day and now night as I cannot sleep lying down. How the hell did this super nova ass appear?

What? What do you mean that I just answered my own question! Do you mean to stand there and tell me that eating gargantuan amounts of fat laden fully carbohydrated foods while excising all exercise from your lifestyle equals growing your ass size?

Who knew?!

Maybe They could have circulated a memo on that one.