Soon I will be called upon to figure out, decipher, and navigate my way around a Big City. This figuring out will not be limited to making my way around the Big City streets and freeways of the outlying fair-to-middling sized cities. No. The deciphering will include changing back into my Big City personae, the equivalent of putting on my Big Girl pants (as my daughter would say), and getting used to, once again, being alone.
These past few months, I have actually spent a goodly amount of time on my own. Time I spent studying or just hanging out at the Compound by myself, or as much by myself as one can be at a place dubbed The Compound. But as I have previously noted on this blog, there is a huge difference between choosing alone time and being alone because familiar faces and close relationships are not available, as in no where close by.
I figure I will survive the transition. I mean I am beginning my sixth year of this leaving my loved ones and arriving at my other life far from here. Other folks with different dispositions and personalities would have made friends quicker than me and there are many people who are more flexible who would have adapted and flourished with their adventures versus my slow pace of shifting my compass. But I am not the other, I am me. For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. I am just me, myself, and I.
One of my Alaskan friends cannot really understand my lack of enthusiasm over the upcoming process of finding a new place to live. She has moved many times and has retained her excitement for the search for the ‘just right’ next abode. I wish I could siphon some of her high energies for my endeavor.
The truth is, however, that I will rise to the occasion. I will take the necessary steps to locate that next wonderful place to live (thank goodness for Craigslist). I will figure out my way around the Big City. I will take and pass my national exam. I will begin my postdoctoral position and do just fine. I will continue to be in relationship with my family, even from a far distance. I will find pleasure in the people and place around me. I will. I will definitely figure it all out. or as much of whatever can be deciphered.