for now.  I speak of the mother moose and her two baby calves who I spied from my study room window a little over a half hour ago.  I recognized her from seeing her on the side road several days ago.  She has a silvery sheen to her brown fur and a scar on her left side.  I questioned my recognition of her this evening as there were no babies to be seen as she munched down on tree leaves.  but then, lo and behold seemingly out of nowhere appeared the two calves, one noticeably larger than the other but both still small.  There the trio were, right outside my window. 

Right after this viewing I said to the SO, I don’t want to go back and he knew I meant back to California. 

and then.

reality socked me between the eyes.  I have committed to a 12 month postdoctoral fellowship.  The high temp here today barely made it to the low 50’s, the wind (cold) has picked up, and rain is slated for the coming next few days.  While in California it is warmer.  But there are wildfires breaking out everywhere.  These are components of the conundrum which stare me straight in the face. 

Where is home? 

For now, home is here.  Be safe mama moose and babies.  for another night, sleep well.  be warm.  be together. 

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