On network television, there is a snippet or a teaser or a trailer or an advertisement (I don’t really know the proper TV Land term) for a show called the Biggest Loser. This short segment shows a mother and her at least adolescent/grown son sitting side-by-side and the mother starts to cry as she says something to the effect of I would give up everything, all of my dreams and aspirations, to see him [son] succeed. The first time I saw this snippet, I was half-listening but recall mentally putting my finger to chin ~ tap, tap ~ and the marinading on this woman’s statement began. Since then, I have seen the trailer multiple times (in between watching educational only TV, mind you) and each time I find myself pausing and swirling the idea around a little more.
This concept of giving up all of one’s own aspirations and dreams in favor of someone else’s success is a tough one to get my arms around. Would I be willing to give up my dreams and goals for my daughter? for my SO? for my grandkiddos? my sister? for anyone?
My internal answer has been No. and then, of course, I build a case to justify my decision, my choice to not selflessly give away my dreams in order that someone else’s could be achieved. Not healthy. Not realistic. Not a good role model. Massively co-dependent. These and additional reasoning thoughts form over time. But at the back of my mind and the periphery of my heart, a curiousity popcorns up and down, a question ~ if one truly loves another, would one not be willing to do whatever it took to ensure the loved one’s goals? Is that what is meant when we speak of unconditional love? does unconditional love exist in the human heart?
Who needs so much reality? If I wanted existential questions flung at me, I’d flip back to PBS and ask myself such important questions as what is the origin of the submarine sandwich?