mask.jpg  A friend recently expressed curiosity and surprise regarding the sparsity of posts on my blog about my Korean adoptee status.  Her comment prompted me to reflect on her observation.  And here is where my meandering thoughts have led me ~

My adoptee status and its consequences and influences in my life are seamlessly woven into my personhood.  There is no point of separating me from the adoptee.  That is not to say that I am the sum and total of being only an adoptee.  I do not think there is any experience that could single handedly define an individual for their lifetime.  I do believe, however, that there are defining moments, experiences, life events that directly, forcefully, and imperceptibly define who we are, who we become. 

For me, I believe I am most influenced by my Korean adoptee status, my spiritual practice, and my identity as a Queer woman.  Of course, there are many many other forces at play in my small universe but these three factors are at the fore.  So when I write of my search for home, my career choice, my spirituality, my keen interest in race and class, the importance of my family, or just about any topic I have posted thus far, my life as an adoptee is woven in.  Having said that, here’s some food for thought on the topic at hand ~

Today’s post title refers to the worn and tired question I am asked all too often ~ what are you?  This is sometimes followed with a startled and sometimes shocked reaction when the asker fails to receive a response befitting their honored question.  After all, how could anyone take their question as an affront or heaven forbid be offended!  They were simply being curious and wanting to know where I am from.  They would, and do, gladly tell me that they are from America or from Minnesota or Michigan so why in the world can’t I just be like them and tell them what I am

Well what I am is more like who I am you dumb-F’s.  And that is a human being just like you.  And this human being does not take kindly to or feel flattered by your ignorant intrusive manner of asking me my racial heritage without way of introduction or anything more than satisfying a passing curiousity on your part.  There is a big difference in asking about someone’s racial identity or cultural connections when there is a mutual interest in each others’ lives versus simply being rude and obnoxious.  Contrary to your belief, you are not entitled to an answer just because you happened to crudely ask.  

   ~ [photograph courtesy of Google images]