When I was in my 20’s and my daughter was still in single digit numbers, age wise, I met a woman who would become a catalyst of change in my life.  A mutual friend introduced us by bringing her along to a Thanksgiving dinner I was hostessing.  Making this new friend’s acquaintance on Thanksgiving day was most auspicious.  I think of this friend pretty much on a weekly, and at times daily, basis.  

This woman woke me up.  She showed me a whole new world, one filled with crystals, tarot cards, sage smudges, Wiccan ways, and vintage clothes replete with satin gloves, feathery hats and silk hose.  She modeled patience with children (my own).  She helped me be a better mother and for that alone, I owe her a debt that could never be paid by myself or even for that matter my daughter.  She showed me compassion back in the day when I could no sooner let in someone’s kindness than fly to the moon, on my own.  She showed me that I did not have to do everything on my own, by myself and without help and that I had never really been alone like how I had believed I was in the first place.  Oh and have I mentioned how much fun we had together?  We did.  We did, indeed.   We were not lovers in the way that people think of lovers but we were most definitely kindred spirits.

Here’s the thing, I keep mis-placing her.  As in losing her.  I do not know where she lives now and through the years when I have re-found her, she moves and I once again, am without her.  I hope she is not intentionally losing me although I have toyed with that conclusion.  Maybe it is just my heart that does not want to believe that she would toss me aside and not have the guts to tell me of her decision.  But my gut tells me that I need to find out and that means finding her, again.  And this time when I do, I am going to come right out and ask her if she still wants me as her friend.  I hope I find this woman and I really hope that she still wants to be my friend.  But come what may, I will continue to hold her in my heart and offer up my thanks-giving for the blessings I have received from our friendship.