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about birth days anyway? I mean when it comes right down to it, the truth is I really do not honestly know the ‘right’ date of my birth. It’s true. It’s sort of like what the 900 number psychic asked when I told her I didn’t know my birth date – ‘Are you kidding? What, were you found under a cabbage leaf?’ And the stupidest (I know I know – that is not a real word) part of that little diddy is that I still didn’t make the connection with the Cabbage Patch dolls. For cripes sake!
I’m going to warn any reader of this blog that this is a feel sorry for myself sort of entry so stop reading if you’re not in the mood.
[Music playing and a short intermission.]
The SO and I had a big overblown argument this evening which really shouldn’t take me by surprise. It’s been brewing for a while.
For my part, what most of this boils down to is I’m freakin’ EXHAUSTED. I mean, really. No kidding. No exaggeration. I am NUTS, Crazy, over the deep end exhausted. Chalk it up to my old age that I can’t seem to deal with more than three nights in a row of interrupted nonexistent restorative sleep. Those REMs must really be at a premium when you’re my age. But really all I know is that I feel Crazy. Certifiable. In fact, if I were having to sit with a client tomorrow, I think I would have to reschedule as I do not think I could ethically do my job. And I am not being histrionic or overly dramatic. Only truthful.
And why, might you ask, am I not in bed now? Because I have worked myself up into a lather and need to try and self soothe for a bit before my head hits the old pillow.
I can say that this is NOT what I wanted or envisioned the 11th hour of my 50th year here on Earth. So much for stepping into the wisdom of my years…
the Bear that is. Our roomie reports chasing the ‘biggest’ black bear she’s ever seen (and she’s lived in Alaska a good long time) out of the compound’s big green dumpster on Saturday morning. She said that when he got down from the dumpster that he didn’t exactly run away in fear but had more of a mildly disgruntled gait and demeanor as he ambled away. I guess this recent wild-life siting confirms my suspicion, I ain’t in Kansas anymore or the BC (aka Big City for those who aren’t in the know).
The salmon smoking neighbor reports throwing a red salmon carcass in the bear’s lunch box, urrr, I mean dumpster the night before… So far, no one here at the compound has reported any additional visits thus far – although the old slightly schizoid-acting guy in the back cabin most likely wouldn’t give any of us the head’s up if he were to see the four-pawed big guy around.
Mother Nature has been trying to help douse the wild-fires that have been burning up the Kenai Peninsula greenery as well as the fires, here and there, in town. Her help has come in the form of rain the past several days. The forecast is for slightly clearing, translated to cloudy to overcast skies by this evening and then partly/mostly cloudy sans rain by tomorrow. See, I really am back in Alaska as the weather is usually one of the most jabbered about topics in this often times Frozen Northland.
On another topic, it’s hard to be cheerful after having one’s sleep interrupted all night long (and I’m not referring to Lionel Ritchie’s love song either) by the SO’s very loud and rumbling snores and accompying sleep apnea noises. In fact, not much can make yours truly grumpier than a night spent in that kind of living hell except maybe multiple nights of the never ending, train roaring, mind ricocheting, jolts of snores and snorts! OMG!!!
Onto another topic – you guessed it, the Disser. So far, I am proud to announce that I have logged approximately 76.5 hours of focused work time and am preparing to send my chair almost 20 pages of writing plus a 12 page reference list. Although the 19 (okay, almost 20 sounds a little more impressive 
) pages are very rough, they do represent a lot of time, effort, and mental aerobics.
Have I mentioned lately that my grandkiddos are the BEST?
Settled in here at the Alaska Compound, surrounded by cabins, a stand alone garage turned upholstery shop, and other out buildings on wooded acreage. One of the tenants of the land baron, our roomie, has set up a killer bandmiton net out on the long rectanglular grassy area by the drive. The same folks also smoke salmon, not in the stogie fashion, but in a Little Chief smoker. Last year they set the smoker up right under the eaves of their deck overhang and since we live above them, right under us. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the smell of a smoker and I love the taste and smell of smoked salmon, but come on – you’ve gotta be kidding me – for a week! Our entire place was filled to smokey capacity for seven, count them, seven days. Hell – the Earth’s possible Creator took that many days to create, well… Earth. This year the SO, at my urging, asked the guy if he could re-situate the smoker and he, surprised that the process could bother anyone, agreed; and, he did. He set it up in a great location – far from our windows (which have been open 24/7 this week due to sunny and very warm – 70’s temps). And then, yesterday I noticed the smoker was missing from its new spot. Where did it go, I wondered. Well, this morning around 4:20′ish I wake up from a dream of swimming in smoke along with many red salmon. It wasn’t exactly a nightmare but I can tell you that it wasn’t a exactly a pleasure cruise sort of dream either. Anywho. Guess what???? The smoker must be either back in its old location or very near the old location as the aroma of wood chips, smoke, and salmon hung heavy in the air – inside our abode. WTH? All I can say, or at least what I’m going to say is I sure hope we get a hunk of smoked salmon this year and beyond that wish, I sure hope that when/if we do, that it’s tasty.
Plus, with all of the warm dry weather and temps the wildfire season is really having a hay day (or would that be a smokey day?). A big fire down south of us (in the area where we’re slated to be this time next week for my Birth Day celebration) has enveloped this area; thanks to the shifting winds, in heavy smoke. The skies look eery. You know the kind of yellowish tinted sky where one could almost believe a natural or unnatural disaster of some kind had taken place just recently? Yep. That’d be the kind of sky I’m talking about this morning.
As for the disser work, it’s coming along rather nicely. I am pressuring myself a lot and have moments of panic but when I really think about the process, I think I’m right where I am and that it’s not a bad place or pace. That’s a long winded way of saying, I’m working on it. Last week I logged 40 hours of focused disser work and this week will be about the same, maybe a little more.
The famdamily (another familial expression) has gone GS’ing (remember, that stands for Garage Sale’ing) which garned lots of good loot – such as, a .50 cent web cam (one guess who bought that – okay, it was my SO who absolutely delights in purchasing electronic stuff at GS’s some of which works, like said web cam and some that is busted and even looks busted when he buys it), a brand new George Foreman grill that’s big enough to grill 8 burgers at one time for 10 bucks (my buy), a desk mat (the kind to help office chairs roll around on – for my chair) for a buck, and lots of other good junk, urrr, I mean treasures.
The forecast calls for occasional showers tomorrow but I think unless it’s pouring the wet stuff that we’ll go out GS’ing for at least a bit in the morning. Hey – it makes us all laugh and gets us going. Entertainment Alaskan style.
This Flickr photograph represents my summer or aspects of it at least. The book = disser work and the grassy marshland just reminds me of summer here in Anchor Town.
Hard to believe that I’ve been here now for one whole week. Wow. So that’s the way the time is gonna fly by, huh? Ya sure, you betcha.
I remain thrilled to be here and that’s despite our roomie’s increasing grumblings of stuff that is bugging her. I think my definition of ‘home’ is expanding to include more than just the walls, floorboards, and roof if you receive my meaning.
my sister, that is, when she was just a little itty bitty girl. I also remember her when she was 12 and the years in between itty bitty, 12, and now. And even though we’ve had our ups and downs, and lordy knows that those ‘downs’ can be stomach lurchers, I love her. What’s more, we hold a part of each others’ history within our own life tapestry. We’re woven into each others’ fabrics so to speak anyway.
Anywho. Essays could, and have been, written about my sister and my sister and me. But there’s some things that just cannot be explained in words but we try anyway.
For now, I just want to memorialize that today I am remembering my sister’s girl-hood and although I am glad that we are both here in our adult-hood instead of back then, that part of who I love now is who she was then.
at the desk by 8 AM and working on disser until at least 2 and if I’m on a roll, then later.
There is a groove and I want to find it and fit myself into it and keep going around, productively, until the cogent disser appears – in print.
This dog is actively doing what I am striving to do this summer, keeping his/her eye on the ball/goal while also achieving balance of the ball/goal. Ahhh, those seem to be two tall orders there, pardner. or little doggie, as the case may be.
is as lazy does. Is that true? Really?
My question of the early afternoon is what exactly does lazy mean? or, how inactive must one be before being – accurately – accused of being lazy? does procrastination equal laziness? especially if, eventually, one does accomplish the procrastinated chore/task/project/disser?
I debated this exact definition with a BART friend several weeks ago. Her defining moment of laziness was walking by her recyclables, numerous times, on her way out the door and each time deciding to take the bag out, later. My re-frame on her edict of laziness was that instead of being lazy, she was reclaiming her personal power to choose when she would take the recyclables outside. Get it? Reclaiming her personal power versus exercising her lazy muscle. She wasn’t buying my definition and stuck with her pronouncement of personal laziness.
I hope she’s wrong ‘cuz if she’s right then I might have to admit that I am one lazy disser writer.
OMG. That is such a distressing thought that I might just have to go look for a hammock to lounge in just to reclaim my breath.
This Flickr photograph made me smile and it also highlights what I’m looking forward to this summer with my daughter and my sister. Yep, you’re right. Right that is if you guessed slamming on some crenoline tutus with matching slippers, holding hands, and looking slightly sloshed around the gills – urrr I mean, having fun with my family.
The SO left this morning and I am slated to leave tomorrow afternoon for Alaska, Land of the Ballerinas.
I can barely wait!
and my familia is varied, funny, and unique – at least to us.
I realized today after sending an invitation to several friends to join me in my blogging endeavors that they may not know some of the acronyms and abbreviations that I, and some of my familia and friends, use on a regular basis. So here is my attempt at a key or guide to my blog entries.
SO = Significant Other
BC = Big City
SF = San Francisco
disser = dissertation
vacer = vacation
pressie = present
brekkie = breakfast
GS = Garage Sale
GS’ing = Garage Sale’ing
There are more that I am forgetting so please add them in the comments and I will make addendums as they come to me.
On another note, the SO and I did go GS’ing today but it wasn’t our day for treasures and we came home empty handed but with full bellies. We ate the best burritos I have ever tasted – mine was a machaca – shredded beef, egg, cheese, and special sauce all wrapped in a tender flour tortilla. The three different salsas that were offered are made fresh on-site each day. In fact while we were there I was able to watch them roasting the green tomalitos. I also availed myself of the fresh chopped cilantro, white onion, and firey jalepenos. Yum. Yum. and Yum, again.
I can’t for the life of me recall the name of the cafeteria-like restaurant’s name but will post it later; following my next visit.
Oh yes, the posted Flickr photo is a just because this little guy’s face made me laugh.
